Where Where Where

WHERE ARE YOU?

Wanted to go running but it is raining. Anyway i just went out with my parents to eat. Guess what? Decided to buy a new pair of shoes and i saw my old model with upgrades since when i bought mine it was still a prototype.

The lady there told me that i had flat foot so that type of shoes were not suitable for me. First time someone said i was a flatfoot. Wonder if it is true. Anyway i am kindda sad that i was not able to buy my old model. So i picked another one.

$200. Anyway i still want to buy one more pair.

Well back to adjusting my shoes then.

New stuff makes me happy! Nah.

Before i before

The tile is fine.

I seriously think that someone in my life is missing.

Twirl

I am really lost. Like just i don't know? Trying to avoid from the whole world outside. This year have indeed been a hard year and i know deep down inside i had received lots of support from people all around me.

There will be always those who never leave me alone when i needed them while there will also be those who show their true colour.

I always insisted on the whole thing about going solo because moving on as a group is draggy but definitely will make you be happy. End of the day, how many of your ''close friend'' are really your true friends? No one is really sure about anything.

I never realised my head was really going from (high to low) as i walk. Tendency for me to think about stuff constantly. Well looks like i got to change it too since people apparently do not like what i am doing now.

Haiz, be a good guy and you get bullied. SO YOU WANT ME TO REBEL?

You have it, from today onwards i will not be my old-self.

I had enough.

:(




Time for something light now. Since i have decided to let it go.

The blog post title is meant for one of my good friend since i felt personally that his determination is so much better amongst us. However sometimes in life determination itself is not enough. There is still the 5 percent component of luck.

Really wanted to go to chayadi's indo house this year but i guess it is not possible anymore now. Andrew asked me to go with him for europe trip. Yes, TWO PERSON. No parents no anything... (oh wait and guess what at this moment, ANDREW TOLD ME HIS BODY IS FAILING. Holy shit idoit finally i think he is going to take up my advice of doing some sports)

Woah why is this post like an essay i think i better stop now. Well i shall end off with.

There will always be a tomorrow.

Never give up.

Sister's keeper

The storyline changed. Kate was supposed to survived while anna died.

I cried. Enough said.

Just so weary to post anything now. Cause i have so much to say and i really do not know where to start off or who to say to. I guess i shall just leave it there because it is where it should be.

Pray to everything.

Thoughts

Ming Hong said something to me today and i reply with YES! FINALLY SOMEONE IN THE FRIGGING CLASS IS NOT BLIND. I added with 2 thumbs up. If i had like 10 thumbs i will lift all of it up. Like totally agree with it.

I had to post this now as i have nothing to do now since there are like 6 people doing on the kampong 3d model. Don't ask me why am i slacking now? Because people who are not in our group always love to join us. So what is the point of me wasting my time sitting there for?

Did not went gym today. Just did my usual pull-up before going home.

Blind. Indeed.

Phobia

Damn you fore-hand serve. Why is it that i still have the freaking phobia there?

Played table tennis during pw break. I freaking still have got the phobia for forehand serve. My serve keep missing the target because i am inconfident. I know myself the best. I know what went wrong. I know why is it so.

All started since 8 months ago? I figured out that my timing was different. Due to the stupid rule where you cannot cover the ball with your hand. Now the ball drop slower or faster. Freaking hell i have been trying to adjust to the speed and trained on that for like months.

Looks like my table-tennis is over. This time round it is totally over. Matt told me we should just quit. However i think that i am still worth the try. Cause my back-hand serve is not over yet. It is still competitive. It is still capable of assisting me do the job of starting my points. What's the point? Where is my old service? Where is that old starter? Where is that old feeling? Why am i feeling like a complete noob here when i know practically all about the game.

Is it still worth the try to make a comeback? I look at all the achievement in the past and compare with now.

Shit.

No way.

Seriously you know that since 1+1=2 and you still continue doing what you are doing now. Damn you seriously i know you won't last for long but don't make me a criminal.

Some people just like having fake smiles on their face. Even their laughters is like completely fake. To the core. I was talking to dean today and i said that coming into nyjc had really allowed me to learn lots of stuff.

The most important of all is of course the human-socio relationship. Totally let me see the true colour of what people are like. Not to say that everyone is like that, since i have indeed met some of whom are very good.

Fake smile, vicious smile, or to be more direct, BACKSTABBING SMILE. People who only know how to make use of their ''physical advantages'' to make use of other people.

Ok, back to something i think i shall just clear up once and for all. Please do not assume anything or anything. People just like to assume everything and everything. For some obvious examples will be like what i have posted and discuss before.

A guy and a girl walking together= TOGETHER.

Damn you cause you need to be damn. Well, you don't know me well enough seriously. I am not that kind of person......

I hate---> People who assume everything

Lucky i have already builded up the patience to deal with such stuff. If it was me in the past...

:D

Scolosleep

My eyes are failing me seriously. I can't see things clearly now. Everything is failing. Left arm fail, eyes fail, stomach fail, life fail.

Currently in school doing project work. Finally the written report has come to an end. Slept at 330 yesterday due to last minute chionging.

Currently at one corner of the classroom looking at the clss. Gabriel is finally sleeping since he told me he did not sleep after i left him editing the pw when i went to bed. Not sleeping just a short ''nap''.

My stomach is like growling? WHERE IS MY FOOD?

I promise, i really do. Please please please.

Post whore

Cause i have to dedicate this to 31.

Oh ya, in case i forgets about it in the future. The main reason why i was laughing like a mad guy in the second picture was because i grab elohim's style head at the last moment. Haha, funny really just funny when he realised about it the camera shutter have already went off. Haha so in the end both of us just laugh at it.

0931 forever

Really really really. <3

10 years or 100 years later i will still remember.

Apollo Yadi

Summary of what we have done past 3 days. My mood, my work and my thinking.

This is what i did at angeline's house. To piss chayadi off! Haha after reading this post you might have a new way of thinking. I MIGHT BE A GAY so beware. Lol, wonder how many people will be stereotype and starts to avoid me.

Wonder if the smile will last though.

Teehee

Lol, the freaking happy boom boom song is still in my head.

Anyway, yesterday was fun after the horrible incident in the morning.

Now i am supposed to be in school but i had like stomach ache since the morning.

Haha, i think i laugh like no tomorrow yesterday. Really really really really really really. I think i will run out of blog content to blog about and it is like becoming my primary 1 journal writing style.

''Today i am very happy. Today i am very very very happy. Today i am very very very very very very happy. Today i ate chicken rice. So i am very happy. Tomorrow i think i will be happy cause i will be able to eat chicken rice.''

Lol, still have got some vague memories of my dad laughing at me. He was like saying you only know how to use happy and very.

Talking about memories. Hmmm, i think i shall leave this next time.

Btw, i can't freaking believe i got 21/60 for my chinese compo. I FAILED my chinese.

Pray to everything.

Even to a grass.

Today have not actually been a good day at all. After pw ending yesterday at 9 in school with me reaching home at 10? Sleeping at 2am , i certainly wasn't in the mood of waking up early.

Today i had ne thingy which we have to visit the marina barrage. I WAS freaking supposed to get there by 12 which i planned to meet up with carissa at mrt station at 1130. So i was like ok... i shall wake up at 1000.

My alarm clock rang at 1000 and i woke up but i was so tired to even move my body i decided to go back to sleep again. Guess what i press the stop snooze button on my alarm clock and i woke up at 1200.

I went frantic seriously. First i was like walking around the house like some mad guy thinking of what to do. Then i remember about carissa waiting. I fumble to decide what to do cause i was really dissappointed with myself.

Do not really wish for anyone to forgive me. Since even i myself can't, practically disgusted at myself for always being late. I mean like what the heck is wrong with me.

Bad day... Now i think i have got a phobia for being late.

Pray to everything.

Wonderist

Alright, apparently i have to come back here.

First of all, if you are reading this, the person i am refering to is the one who always ask me to edit his pw ''english''. I would like to comment that my english stinks like shit. So please ask someone else to do it. You praised the wrong person.

Second, i told tofu not to give up on himself during chinese lecture today. I mean seriously i went into a trance and started writing out what's on my mind. Ended off our conversation with me telling him that my chinese is C6 while him telling me that his's is B3.

Ok, i lied. A while lie that is, cause i wanted to encourage people. Like anyone so i had to lie.

Third, my mood is certainly shitty right now. If i have a choice i would definitely change it. Like who wouldn't want to change their mistakes?

Fourth, no one is on my mind now. If you get it you get it, if you don't whatever.

Fifth, PW rocks.

Last but not least, i hope that everyone around me will have a super duper ultimately to the ^ of infinity good life. Like getting what you wish for or want to attain. Uhh, good health to everyone.

Hmm, i think i have to end off with this.

Some things are just so obvious that sometimes when both parties realise about it. It is too late!

Thanks ah

Went running. Saw new faces. Not her.

Went eating. Someone said i look tired. I said-sort of.

_-_

Leave me alone god damn it.

This year is officially a fail year.


ONE BIG EDIT: seriously my fault. Just realised what went wrong.
I waved at zhaozhi today and she dao me. Turning back i saw another 2 heads turning and turning. Pretty sure my eyes didn't fool me this time round.

The rant starts now.

Ok, goddamn life of mine, wtf are you trying to do with me? You *king want to screw me up like some puny worthless thing cause i cannot achieve anything great? Like wtf is wrong with you seriously, why keep on pushing me down. I just want my old self back like just normal average life where i gets ups and lows.

NOT JUST FKING LOW TIMES. _-_ Seriously stop now or i am going to stop it myself. ARRHGHGEIHGEIHGSIEHGOSEGOI. STOP TELLING ME TO FKING CHILL CAUSE THIS IS NEAR TO BREAK TIME.

Very near....

So near.... yet so far.

I am tired. Give me a pat.

You get it if you get it

HDB
Condo
Terrace
Condo
Condo
Dam(short moment) Beaver builded it. I pay him in fish.
Sewer and canel

That's about all. Nicest of all? The sewer and canel. Superb express way shared by all sorts of weird thingy. Like faster than the bullet train.

Sometimes i really wonder...

Inner Thoughts

Cycling with kashing and leon today. Too bad junyuan had his poly lesson until so late.

Not much to say, as usual as anything we did saw a couple of people along the trip. Funny things happened too.

This post isn't supposed to be about the outing today. Yes like what the title says.

I meant so much have happened this year and my life have been super hectic. If someone were to seriously ask me if i am happy now. The honest answer would be NO.

NONONONONONOO. Get it? Seriously, i hate my life now. Cause it is so screwed up. Like totally, i can't even really feel anything for anything. Or maybe the change have caused me to go into a mental disorder.

Like what i used to discuss with andrew,if time were to revert back to secondary 2 we would avert from the fate we ended up in. This time i am telling myself if time were to revert back, i will never screw my own life up.

Then back to the topic of what am i really fighting for. Like what the heck am i doing all these. For myself yea i guess in the super short term like 50 years because a human life span is basically around like 60-100? That goal seems to be too lousy.

I hope what i desired to achieve will happen. It will not be a short term goal. A long term goal which does not only include me.

Not one person not two person or three person. As many as i can help in my short lifespan.

Statue

Haha i thought the dog was the statue we saw the last time. He was motionless.

Well, no more dual-colour shoe-laces. I wonder if it was that that caused me to feel uneasy. Couldn't find the same black shoe-lace therefore i had to do with the puffy one.

Hmm, style is indeed everything i guess?

Like no style no future?

Bullshit. That's why i only notice those who are like isolated because you can get style easily but you can't get styleless easily.

Like how can someone who is not a nerd become a nerd.

Nerds are cool. You cannot copy their style.

Hadori

ZzzZzzZzzZzzzzz

First off someone did not reply to my tag haha.

Second andrew was stupid not to cancel the subscription to wow for my account ending up wasting 4 months payment. Which is like 100 plus i guess.

Third i have to visit the kampong again...

Fourth you shouldn't have visited this blog cause half the time the content in here are different from what i really meant.

Fifth, i was just joking for fourth.

Dream/clear

Maybe trying to stress myself out is not a good way. After 4 days of providing myself with little sleep with lots of things to think about, i really felt that i could faint anytime soon. Little energy left to continue on what i should have done long ago.

A dream pops up today. Have been really a long time since i had a dream.

I went on a bus or a plane with the class. I can't really remember if it was a bus or a plane. I saw a weird man who was suspicious which i really don't know why did i find it so. That guy then try to took me as a hostage out of no where in the dream. I managed to struggle and push him away, with his gun in my hand(remember it was a revolver). I aimed the gun at him and ask him to stop whatever he was doing.

However his friend was on another side of the bus or train and he was on a killing rampage. I cant remember the middle part or there wasn't any at all. Jumping to the last part of the dream. People have died. I am not sure of how the hell and what the hell. Ok in the dream 2 person have died. Both whom i know. However one of them survive and she saw her mum looking for her therefore she went over to hug her mum.

I know i know why did i dream about the 'hug mum' part. The reason to me was quite clear, just like what i want that person who survive to be doing now.

The second person who died. Really died. ''They'' said when she was dieing she was calling out for me. However i was not there which i don't know why thanks to the dream. This is the part that drains me of my sleep. I was crying.

Indeed crying in the dream. Just crying and walking around and then there was this shop where i could go inside and sit down at one corner.

Dreams are supposed to be the people whom you care the most sub-consciously?

Never knew it would be so.

Thanks dream.

BlackDarken

I sense a black aura recently.

Scare.

Lame

When some one call you lame=Do you need a walking stick?

Anyway i have nothing to talk about right now so i guess i shall just post a joke.

There was this prisoner who got held in this house where there was totally no door or windows. Just see the cell as crackless and there is no way to go out of it.

So outside the cell was like policemen guarding around it 24/7 with a ak-47. How did the prisoner escape?

The only thing he had was a saw and a table in the room.




Answer: He saw the table into 2 half. And 2half makes a whole(hole). He jumped into the hole so as to escape the cell and avoid the guards. However the guards saw that he escape from the hole outside and went on to chase after him. He then will call out for help until he become horse and sit on the horse to escape.

Teehee.

Ragequit.

Never do that in your life.

Anyway, today was another busy day. Indeed, busy playing games. Haha apparently after one day of playing tennis the next i am playing online games. Well have to change eh?

Went over to andrew's house in the morning. Not exactly in the morning since i was like ''late'', but there realy isn't a late since we don't actually set the time. So i reached there like 1. Miss meeting up with beaver since he went over there after his chemistry paper and had to rush back for chinese.

Yea, leeching off food at andrew's house. I DID NOT EAT THE INDO MEE. Freak freak, oh never mind we had pizza for lunch instead. More like dinner i meant. Twice in a day.

Things cannot be taken for granted. I got to thanks andrew for his kindness in allowing us to leech his food. Also accepting me into his house whenever i called. Like especially this year i have done that dozen of times. Just calling up and saying i will be there. Thanks. Then again mushy things should not be said out. Reason being?

IT is mushy.

Banzaaaa

You know you know you know. Ever got that weird feeling where you want to talk to someone but you just can't talk to that person because you don't know that person at all not really totally at all because you do know that that person exist but you are just not as close to that person. Stupid thing is cauing me to have trouble typing what i feel like saying on that person's tagbox cause of this stupid thing. I have to waste one post typing it like a stupid noob.

Anyway skip the top if you want to heed my advice. I shall hit the bull's eye now.

How long have it been since i last check on anyone's old history. Not to even mention looking at other people's blog.

I saw a post about turning your back against someone because the new friend of yours is more good looking. Haha, you know if i were to really type out what i want to say. The tag-box might not be enough for me to vent my anger upon. Like seriously what the heck is wrong with this world. This is the reason why i like kevjumba from youtube.

In this world, you got the looks you will make it Big.

In this world, if you do not have the looks, AND YOU DO NOT HAVE THE BRAINS, you can basically say goodbye to yourself. Not even small you have got. Nothing is the perfect term.

skooL are nothing. Bullshit i am lieing to myself again. Come back to this real world.

Illusionilution

I walked into the court with ks leon yadi and andre playing for like 1 hour. Basically put my bag down and picked up a racket and went on to play. Nothing much really... Except for the baseball hitter record. HAll of fame coming.

Chayadi-4 balls
Kashing-1
Lawrence-1
Andre-0?
Leon-0?

So i guess yadi is the winner. In causing the balls to go phewww over to st'gab primary school.

Saw them playing soccer with it. Well they should make a tennis team since there will be many free balls in the future.

Went back to ks house to play guitar hero and odst halo. Got myself (pwn) totally. Like no talent in instrumental stuff. Halo, different case.

Couple of old games were played too. Seriously get me thinking about some other old friends. Old mates whom i have not taken the initiative to call upon. My bad indeed, i will try.

Back to the main point. Had a heavy dinner, apparently just giving other people a chance of reminder that i have got high metabolism rate. Yes i freaking eat a lot and i do not grow fat.

If you really want to know how much can i really eat. My usual for macs will be a filet-o-fish student meal up size change the drink to ice milo plus a mac spicy burger without the meal. After which if i am still hungry i will call for a double cheeseburger.

If you really want to know why do i like eating that much. I eat more when i am troubled. Eating can help me cure it. So if you see me eating a lot that means something is going on.

Woah woah woah, long post it is. Shall end it off here cause i do not want to be called naggy.

Baka mememememememe

Ok, i am seriously late for the tennis outing. KS leon and yadi if you guys see this here don't scold me.

Just trying to rant out my thoughts before i go out. Cause i have been a wimp and hiding at home all day long cause i am a wimp.

No, you people ever tried to tell yourself no you are not. I realised what have i been doing wrong all these while. The mentality is the key. So from today onwards stop telling yourself that you are all that weak.

Cause you can take care of yourself. You do not require the assistance of any other living soul in this cruel world.

However giving is still better than taking. :D

WutWhatWut

What?

Ok, i have been keeping this to myself. Like what the heck this is the second time.

Prior to this, let me recall i think there are like 5 other incidents that end up the same way.

I dao every single one of it.

Anw, thanks for telling me.

You know

You do. Stop lieing when all these are going on.

Ran 2.4km for the past 2 weeks. Everyday yes. I think i can pass now, or more like slightly more than passing which is B or C.

Puny little stuff that gets me crazy. I wonder if my stare is really that fierce cause when i was on a bus yesterday and some auntie took up 2 seats with her bags. So i kindda gave her the tsk face and immediately she picked up her bags.

Seems like this place is getting dead. I sense the vibe going off.

Nervous. Need consultation. Nah, obviously i can handle it myself.

I know i can.

can
can
can

cannot.

Spinpuke

My head hurts badly this very moment.

My eyes landed on your eyes and i moved away first. First time i did so.

Anyway, apparently leon and me got kicked out from econs consultation. Well we meant no harm by clashing and is indeed our fault for not informing miss hazel prior to our ''clash''. However the kicking process was sort of embarrassing with like 3/4 people in the lecture hall knowing you.

Spinning spinning everything is. Long house food are waiting for me now. Just when i am full...

Yesterday i had a super long chat with my dad during dinner. He told me, yea we are 20 percent at the very least.

In my heart i was thinking, that's not what i achieved. I have nothing.

Annoa?

I should not really be saying this. However i got a feeling that people are mugging for chinese this very moment.

Go on, you guys can do it!

So this is why so

I was about to write on a whole post of rage.

Freaking rage, totally two-faced. Here you are telling us all that stuff and behind our back you are doing another shit.

Shit you.

Final strike

Nah. Ending off nicely.

Wanna know who i am going to refer to, check on the word baka. Yea, go on the path of baka=stupid or whatever.

I have been saying stuff where your weakness lies. Yup, over-doing it in fact.

The truth is, you are the best. Yea, someone who managed to be good both on the inside and outside. Well, i had not state this without any evidences.

So, just slam through all obstacles in your baka mode and you will be fine. Cause at the end of the day i am pretty sure that i am correct about my judgement.

Bye baka.

Coincidental?

How the heck can it be even possible when it is not planned out. Apparently even after i had my stomach ache and when i went out of the stadium and just nice. Pop.

In my mind i was like, erm are you J1 or J2?

Guess it is just another day.

Heroes

Make yourself as one.

The 8 trigram all as one.

One strike is all it takes.