Life is a dream

I don't know, but most people tend to hide their deepest regrets with actions that enable them to appear fine to other people.

I don't know, i hate it when i understand and sense these things easily.

I don't know, to the extent maybe where i just decided to avoid everything and everything.




So tell me what you want from australia, don't tell me kangaroo.

I mean when will i ever hear something like this from somebody. Nah, you need not buy anything. Just come back with perfect state of health both mentality and physically.

Now you know why you don't get me well?

Just not right. Not at all.

Life's short, and i am no intending to lose anymore chance. Not anymore, the urge to step out of the safety zone.

Don't come and regret it before it is too late.

Just don't (:

Yuppu, take care!

Horde

They came back to me like a horde of alliances raiding towns.

Now i got 2 ugly burned mark on my hand because of the big incense ashes which i covered for the small little girl in front.

Anyway, went to the temple with my parents in the end. After which we went to the beach under my request once again. Memories came back clearer than before... Just that this time i had a thought and i wonder if it was true that it might be her.

Blame it on myself to play too much during primary 1.

Phail.


Anyway, the condition is getting from bad to worst. Today i learnt about a new term, OCD. Well i shall not explain much on it, go check if you are interested about it.



Take care.

Btw, i prayed for everyone at the temple. I said please not only for my family. Everyone if you can. I believe everyone is good by nature, so yeah that applies to all baddies.

Everyone deserve a second chance.

(:

YADILOH

Who knew that i am actually dreadful about holiday being here.

Time is running out, and i have not got anymore time to waste. It is not as if school is doing much productive things but at least i get to see familiar faces there.

Rob me of my privilege. GRRRR, HOW DARE Youuuu.

Recently we have been watching a lot of movies. Iron man 2, IP2, Robinhood, Prince of persia, Kick ass, How to train your dragon, Legion, Clash of the titans, Alice in wonderland, Rec2

All with guys. Yes, angeline is considered as a guy.

OKOK BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING, Sorry boss! I go dig a hole myself and jump inside.

I mean come on, we need to be balance.


There used to be this moment where i felt that this sentence was really talking about nothing but the truth.

What hurts the most was being so close, and having so much to say, and watching you walk away.

Like getting a heart attack. Excruciating pain.


Just joking, getting a heart attack is like so much worst.

Good day. Contemplating if i should visit my primary school. Maybe call up the few mates to go back together. What am i talking about, whole MSHS only 4 MTP. Ronald went ACJC. Left 3 MTP in nyjc LOL.

Yeah so i wonder if those 2 baka would even think about going back.

Come to think about it, i won the model student badge from melisaa aka (model student freak) during the last term of Primary 6.

People do move on, some just move on very fast i suppose.

Hey, why not walk slower and take a look at things around you. Enjoy the process.

(:

Take care.

Great expectation

Greater the disappointment.

So i decided that i shall expect nothing at all from the General paper. My lazy attitude towards school will forever be there when my body continue to fail me.

Reach zhun zhun at 8am. Heard the teacher said 1 minute before start of exam. Mr tam saw me and he HAAA!? and pointed at his watch. I gave him a uhh, sorry sorry expression and chiong to get my ''equipments''. He eventually came over and push the back of my head. Luckily the seat was at the back and all was planned well.

Start of examination and i took the 1st minute to cool down. Also looking at the questions. HAHA, EDUCATIONS. Do I LOOK LIKE I WILL BE STUPID ENOUGH TO choose it again?

However come to think about it, i wrote about history context the other time and fail like shit. GGfied.

Comprehension was like whatthedulibubabu. I don't know if i lost concentration or whatever, had only half an hour for summmary and AQ. I HATE SUMMARY now for some reason when i loved it to the core in secondary school. My summary was like some essay or what. AQ was... Nothing much to comment anyway.

One word?

Screw. When you end up in a art's class you get pressurized to score well in GP. Other classes are talking about 50 percentile to be top of the class. 0931? You get 70 percentile you are considered Below AVERAGE. What is this... What is this... What is with this class haha.

All the gods i prayed to last night, please just assist me.

I don't need zhiquan to suan me again.

Deja vuuuu

Haha that voice is damn nice, gives me a sense of comfort.

Ever felt like knowing someone but you don't know how to start it? Haha, everyone's grown up.

I can't spend one more moment on the sgc BECAUSE I AM DISGUSTED BY IT. What is this man... Full of self-praise... What's the point when everyone write good stuff about themselves. So i decided to add in bad points. LOL.

Uhh, got back plenty of things today.

The AQ which Mr chong own us for quite a long time. Haha, i am ranked above zhiquan that's all i care.

A lvls cert for chinese and Pw grades.

Got back my heart.

Felt it beating.

With compassion.

And love.

Though there isn't any for the last one.

Desire.

Anyway the answer for the question 2 post ago was~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The CHICKEN!

Not possible

How is it even possible when you don't even understand me well.

Today many things happened. First time in junior college that i really felt like poning lessons. You have no freaking idea how much i hate this system. A pure waste of time. Especially today when i attended the first math lecture at 9am then waited until 130 for my second and aka second last lesson. What is this bullshitto really...

I held on to my policy though, bo pian stayed in school to do no shit.

After that i told myself i had enough, it's time to just heck care so i decided not to study for the day and go out. When i was going home from andrew's house i wanted to took a cab from united square. Guess what? Fate made it so zhun that when it was my turn for the cab, NO CAB CAME after 30 minutes. Under the warm-humid weather i had to face it.

Heaven wanted me to save money and take the MRT home. I rage-walked home and as i was walking through the tunnel, the ''musician'' spoke to me.



Hey, why are you going home so late?



Something changed somewhere. I decided to take 5 minutes of my time and have a chat with him.

Sometimes all it take is a single pat to knock you out of the mist.


Yuppu.

(:

Oblivion

Fear

Fear

Fear

Makes you weak...




I got high today for no reason.

A good thing i suppose (:


I have a chicken, my chicken went over to my neighbour's house and lay an egg. Whose egg does that belong to?

Grateful

Have been waking up every single day being grateful that i am still alive. Trust me having that kind of feeling every morning stinks great. It is indeed preventing me to do anything productive as my mind was already pre-occupied the moment it starts.

Thinking overload.

That old feeling, gone and lost forever. Just the rule of nature i suppose. The other day i was walking home and it was late night after a short drizzling. Finally i found out what was missing in the ambience of school.

That green smell that i always get when i goes to school at about 630. That's the feeling of school.

Tsk what start school at 730/9/10.

Old things... Don't forget, PS2 used to be god-like. I always thought that it had superb graphics. When i tried PS3, PS2 was still having a superb impression in my mind.

Guess what when you revert back to PS2? You find that it was all an illusion.





Peace out. Take care.

(:

We are the world

You shouldn't have told me the truth. I cannot do anything much except say, please do not wait till everything is hopeless. You know being elusive will do you no good.

Nothing i can do except to bite my lips, knowing the truth but i can't do anything.


I know it hurts. Heaps.

Tsk, that's you. I AM ON THE OTHER SIDE. WAKI WAKI, the train is moving on.



Smiling with force really made me die a little on the inside.

How long has it been since i last laugh until i roll on the floor...? 2 years ago? Maybe 3 years... Yes i think 3 years ago.

Was it the people or location. Ahh yes, it is the system.


Happy birthday Elohim Chor chuang yu(AKA Leonardo dicaprio) Xiao shi hou xi huan kong long, zhang da le bian DA KONG LONG.

Don't eat so much beibei mian liao la, probably the reason why you are turning fat in movies.

To be honest, nyjc became *10 more valuable because of the friend i made here. You know you are one of them, right at the top layer.

Stop pause look think

I don't know what else is there for me to say except I don't know what is going on but I know something is going wrong.

My dad reminded me that I wasn't alone and shouldn't keep everything to myself.

After 18 years and he still don't get it. Even if I were to die, I won't ask for help.

An issue that can't be resolved...

To be honest count that as 17 cause I hate to admit that I am getting old.

No I still have the mentality that I am one year younger than my batch because I was borned on 31th December remember?

Smiling on that thought itself :)

Addicted to this song.

You know during gp lecture i saw this point which caught my attention. Average Y-generation people spend about 13 percent of their online time on blog-related things.

No i tell you what, 3 percent on blog-related stuff. 97 percent zuo bo.

A false sense of ownership. Hrmmm, that i have to thank you blogger for hosting this very domain itself. I never thought that this webpage belongs to me. So that doesn't applies to me either.

Today was the very first time i said something like that. Not that i did not do it to other people before. It was the first time that i did it face to face. It was indeed... Indeed just... I can't even explain it.

At least there was an ending.








I didn't answer? I did. Yes, I didn't say that health was actually the main consideration. You knew about it anyway. Plus what would my character be if i were to even do anything after what happened like probably less than a month ago.

Haha, am i like stuck inside a market buying fish?

Let me do my work shall we?

ALVLS.

YouJia.

Seeya.

Are you glad?

I am glad.

Smile (:



I am going to live everyday of my life to the max.

Tomorrow will be another day where i get to see many smiles.



You asked me for my meaning in life.
Trust me, i will proudly walk away, with my back facing you.

Then turn back smile at you and say,


That's my meaning (:

What a wasted chance

So finally i have a conclusion on the view about life.

Yesterday i had some talking with zhiquan on it. Now i am going to post the same question i asked him to anyone reading this.

Trust me, i believe that the idea itself will be rejected by many people ): Even to my parents i guess, and anyone who believe his/her religion wholeheartedly.

Do you believe in reincarnation? Do you even believe in souls?

Think about clones and tell me about it.

Where's my dolly~~~~

Here i am as a full-time student wasting my brain power on certainly quite useless stuff, or rather inapprioprate things for our age. Did i forgot to mention about how i am one of the students mr bong was refering to in the previous post.

Like a slap in my face telling me to wake up.

However an idea is better than no idea.




See ya (:

Btw the conclusion was, why are you thinking so much? It's just a dream.

I should just chop my fingers off

Gloomy. Wasn't like this when i was dismissed early from school today.

YUP, i was dismissed early because history lecture was cancelled. I wanted to say that it was a change of luck, guess what it is definitely not. This time he's not giving me the chance to doze off in history lecture but auto cancel the chance to learn something useful. Maybe like reading the lecture notes in 5 minutes rather than spending 1 hour listening to the scripture.



By the way, morning assembly are indeed getting horrible. I sweat until as if i just came out from the bathroom. Haiyo, plus elohim zhiquan and me got ''black-list'' by mr chong. How wonderful if the whole school is covered by a giant glass and air-con throughout.

What a fat hope.

Talking about hope, what's with hope? What's with hope? What's with hope?

Waste of brain-cell thinking about it.

Mr bong(bond) was right about some students are really thinking too far. Being a junior college student and already aimming to save the world.

Learn to run before you think of flying if that is even possible.

Maybe if you were to drink red-bull i suppose.





-1 mark for econs assignment for changing my econs teacher name from

Mr richard bong to Mr richard bond.

Cheers (:

~~~~~~~

Pi ku is like the only word i can use now.

PI KU PI KU.


Haha, alright then fatigue falling in.

It's not normal anymore. Like draining.

I don't even feel like as if i am myself anymore.

Take care of your health peeps, you won't want to end up like me.

Torment to the mental health.

Pass me a knife.

Eh a pen is fine.

Actually a pen knife will do.

I am fine.

Nope.

):

Thought that i knew myself the best, turned out that there are still moments where i needed someone.

That's just life.

All you people can't you see can't you see

It's all for nothing. Not even a spark, not even a dust, NOT EVEN A BACTERIA.

Uhh, ok. As long as first in lit understands what the hell i am talking about will be enough. Like i am tired trying to explain to people.

Holed up in the safety zone and still thinking that everything will be like this forever.


Take care (:

Oh ya, it's not for nothing when you get to see smiles. Especially that one haha, don't know why. Maybe it's all for that.

You know what is absurd? LOSING THE CLASS T-SHIRT ONLY AFTER WEARING IT FOR TWICE.

Come'on not funny le la, give it back and i pay you 30 bucks.



Plus a whack in the stomach for making me speak to the aunties in hokkien haha. At least i improved my relationship with them. However the auntie-boy is still blubby what.

Remember your lover auntie at mshs canteen? Haha, totally just reminded me about so many memories.

Haiz.

Hey you, yes you, it is you, CLICK THIS POST!

Erm just testing the effect it will have in future.

You gave me everything, you took away everything.

Eh just back studying with jossy at toa payoh library. Hard for me to find a study partner don't know why.

Too ugly le that's why i suppose.

Eh, not forgetting about mother's day. Happy birthday mum. I love you the most. Even though you won't know about it. Oh well you know the way i do things anyway. Independent and i don't want you to worry about me. Yup that's right. If you want to really know the extent which i keep things from my parents.

They don't really know anything about my life. For your information yes, my parents don't know about my pw and chinese grades.

For you too, you have no need to know about them as well.

For me actually i do not even want to know about them, but oh well. The education system force us to know about it. Guess what? Everything out there is about qualification so if you do not have any you can kiss goodbye.



Yucky.

Btw, why do people not like anime hairstyle? To be honest i think goku's hair is damn nice. To think chayadi commented on it being like chicken hair. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.

No wait, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME.

Eh, WHERE'S MY COFFEE BREAK LA. Give me my coffee BREAK NOW. Better get off here before i go crazy haaha.

):

You know you can't see your face turned from happy to black when you saw what happened this morning assembly.

I knew that i was correct after i saw it anyway. (:

Trust my guts.



Villians all in one and lucky i ain't near them. Sad face for someone though haha, don't worry there's going to be one angel whom you can talk to there.

Yup to that person, don't think too much and just trust your feelings for once.

Yawn, i am sleepy...

):

Yawn yawn & just more yawn

What's there to say except...

THANKS BRO! Haha, really was not expecting that to come from you.

Friendship was never about constantly being together so as to hold it up.

Eternal friendship is what i wished for. Something that did not require any form of ''cleaning up''. Don't worry i cherish it more than you do really.

To walk down this path alone, i realised that i was wrong.

I turned back and i saw so many faces, so many happy memories.

I realised that i was not alone.

COME ON BE STRONG, I AM THE CAPTAIN OF MY SOUL, MASTER OF MY FATE.

When i say i can, don't bother proving me wrong.

Cause i can.

(:


Ask me why so? I have the answer.

You should give me this chance because i am not doing this for myself. In fact it is for everyone else except myself.

Come with nothing and leave with nothing. What's really important is the process.


One strike.

Telling how they should be

Alright, motivational talk by my beloved math supplymentary teacher. He's become more like mr kellet to me. Just that i don't score well for math.

Or i don't at all for math.

...

Totally just loserish, like totally 100 percent ultimately zzz. Back in secondary school my results were closer to top-tier and now i am forever LOWER TIER. Maybe i should have taken science. Talking to physic people on quantum theory just excites me. Though i am more interested in the M theory. String particles and most of all the 11th dimension.

All comes down to the ultimate question of what's life?

Today much was said about the boy who died walking across the road. 6 days of battle and it's over for him, and he did not even have much say in that.

Remember me saying if human beings think too highly of ourselves? Maybe we aren't even suppose to try to unreveal the mystery. You know it, deep down inside everyone know that the best way of life is nature's way.

The free market is always better than a controlled one. Why? Because it balance out everything, naturally.




Don't tell me tomorrow will be a better day, tell that to the poor nyjcian.

Peace out.


You.

You took my heart away

Every wonder why Michael learns to rock is called michael learn to rock?

Haha, even the lead singer said he's ''disgusted'' by the name.

Wonder what is totally wrong with me... Health problem persist, woke up this morning feeling dizzy when i walk. Yesterday i almost just burst because i couldn't handle the fact why this is happening to me.

I am not talking about simple flu, or some puny cough. I am talking about heart problem, liver problem or maybe cancer.

Yes, only recently have i realise that my body is not capable of handling the bullshitto i have been giving it. Alright i admit that i have been eating a lot, yes a lot a lot. Like A LOT. You will never be able to imagine the spree i am able to put up unless you have ate with me before. Usually 1on1 because i will only eat at ease with people i know well.

That's not the point, the point is IT'S UNFAIR. LOOK AT ALL THOSE OBESE PEOPLE, those people who never tried to do something but just eat and eat.

I do exercise for all these stuff i eat. Like a lot, tell me who the heck still run at least 40km every week after napfa. Yeah, tell me and i need him to run with me, because apparently 40km is not enough...

Not many people understand me well. I know you are one of them. I know even when you don't you don't think that it matters at all.

I thank you for you saying you will still believe in me no matter what.

However... Don't worry i will fufil that promise i made to you.

I am sorry.


If only, i don't know why all that i can say is sorry.










Don't cry if your dream does happen. Yup, i think only you know what am i talking about.

I woke up this morning and it turned out worst.

Please don't let it happen.


I think i will breakdown.

Why must it happen to me?

We're still innocent

HaHa anyway today's my sister birthday. Happy birthday to her (:

She decided to celebrate her birthday with her friends, so i went out with my parents for the whole of today.

We ate at the duck stall, apparently the one that lost the taste when it moved out from that old market. Tsk, black-list again.

So mum asked where i wanted i go. I said pasir ris HAHAHA. Yeah i went to cycle along under the hot hot sun.

Then we went to century mall to catch a movie. Been quite a while since i watched movie with my parents. Yup, IP man 2. Nice show as i expected.

Today some person commented on something. For no reason i got red, don't know what to do anyway, just buying popcorn haha.

Thanks anyway, though you might not know that i could sense it.

Time for a rest?

(:

300 to 10?

Haha, maybe not even 10.

Tsk, yesterday was bullshitto. I freaking lost my class- T shirt. YES, the one with LAWRENCE behind it... I wore it like twice and there you go, mia already. After which we missed assembly because zhiquan brought his own skates, and we took quite a while cleaning up which explains our absense at the assembly.

Cool, now mr chong wants an letter of explaination. ZZZ, guess what? Elohim zhiquan and me freaking do not have the econs market failure wksht. So you're telling me that 3 of us lost it? I don't think so really, more like we didn't receive it at all.

Made us look as if 3 of us didn't bring it to school at all. Made mr bong said he was dissappointed in three of us.



When you said look behind, i looked. True, you were right about stop lying. That just didn't matter to me because i am numb to it. She's good alright, just that you don't know much about this thing compared to me.

I hate eye contacts because i read them well. Far too well. To the point where avoidance is the best.


Time to do some soul searching.

Ain't i doing that every single seconds?

Take care (: